Christian Weston Chandler

Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, A.K.A. Liquid Chris, is the surrogate father of Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo. He is a benign presence who only wants the best for Asperchu, and has appeared to him both in a vision and in the flesh.

Identity
In Asperchu continuity, Christian Weston Chandler is shown to be the brown shirted hero. It is later revealed that red & blue-striped shirted Chris (or fat Chris as he is also known) is the impostor and that his true identity is none other than Ian Brandon Anderson, who is a longtime enemy of the real Christian. Upon this declaration, Ian tried to shoot the Christian to prove his identity (even though that would just make him look psychotic). Luckily, Metal Asperchu was able to grab the bullet in time, and set the dastardly Ian Brandon Anderson on fire.

In the Simonchu comics, Ian Brandon Anderson still rules over Christian's city of CWCVille. At this point though, everyone still believes that he is the real Chris, as his true identity had not yet been outed by the CPLF. According to Sonichu, Christian in Simonchu had recently become stuck in the Time Void, and Ian had convinced everyone that he was the real Chris returned, who only looked like Ian due to the Time Void's effects on him. Asperchu also remarked under interrogation that Mayor Chandler used to wear brown but has since taken up wearing striped shirts.

It is possible that the current CWCVille story arc in Simonchu is set before Christian's appearance in Asperchu, and that the Simonchu Finale, (whenever it comes), will lead into Issue of Asperchu.

Biography
Christian first appeared in Issue #C as a spiritual guide to Asperchu, warning him of Sinestro's plot. Asperchu was then captured, but Christian appeared to him again, this time in person, after his beating at the hands of the trolls. Christian helped him to escape the building, but they stopped when they encountered a room full of clones. Since one of them begged Christian to kill it, Christian pulled out a knife and put the poor thing out of its misery. He told Asperchu that he would "handle it," so it is implied that he killed several other suffering clones as well. He then encountered Ian and the others as they burst in. Ian became frustrated by the accusation that he was not the real CWC, and thus attempted to shoot Christian with his Megatron Pistol. However, Metal Asperchu caught the bullet and saved his life, and then set Ian on fire. Christian was teleported back outside with the others. Sonichu then told Asperchu that he was going with his father to track down Ian and he would tell him if they made any progress.

After the events of Issue, Asperchu and Co. went back in time to 1999. They spent all of Issue in confrontation with past and future versions of Ian Brandon Anderson. It was through this they learned that Sonichu was in fact birthed by Ian Brandon Anderson through use of a mixture of semen from both himself and Asperchu, and Satanic magic.

When they told Sonichu in the present in Issue he was shocked, and went into a short speech about how his earliest memories was of him as a Sonee playing with Chris, and of all the times they shared, and his status as his role model. Sonichu then vowed to discover the truth of his parentage and find out what really happened. This led to him being captured by Bionic, and Max and Jivin fighting against the Yellow Devil in Bionic's Fortress in an attempt to rescue Sonichu. It was during the middle of this battle that Christian reappeared once more, when he threw his knife into the monster's eye and supposedly killed it. He then ordered that Bionic immediately release the captured Mitch Chu, but Bionic merely shot him and flew away. Christian and Sonichu then briefly talked, this being the first time in a while that they had spoken, and Christian promised to tell Sonichu everything once they buried Mitch.

He finally told him in Issue, where he explained that Ian had abandoned him due to his inability as a parent, hoping that Sonichu would raise himself, and that he would grow up to be loyal to Ian by default. He then put him in a Sega Dreamcast box and left him to float down the river, where Christian picked him up and adopted him as his son. At the same time it was revealed that since Ian was captured by Bionic, Christian retook CWCVille and appointed Mayorshack Tito as the new Mayor of CWCVille. Together, they had since been working on the CWCVille Restoration Project, helping to restore the town and clean up the remains of 4-Cent_Garbage Center Towers. After Sonichu ran off, Christian sent Noir Chu and Asperchu out to bring him back. He later received a call from Noir Chu informing him that Sonichu had joined Bionic, and the two had tortured Ian to death. He asked him to bring back Asperchu so that they could formulate a plan. He needn't have asked, however, as Asperchu was soon teleported to him, along with Bionic, Sonichu, Metal Asperchu and the Zero Clone known as Argentum. Argentum then delivered a long and cryptic speech and talked with Sonichu, before teleporting away and leaving Christian and the others very confused. Metal Asperchu then announced that he would destroy everyone.

At the end of Issue, Christian finally found Sonichu again, after he had been missing for several days. He tried to ask him what happened and where he had been, but got no response. He asked for Sonichu to talk to him and tried to comfort him, but Sonichu backed away from him and ran off in shame. Christian tried to stop him, but Sitting Chu told him to just let Sonichu go.

In Issue, Chris revealed that Metal had not tried to kill anyone, and that he had just floated around in the air above the ruins of 4Cent for the past few days. Given that he was busy with the CWCVille Restoration Project, and that someone needed to keep an eye on Metal in case he tried anything, Christian decided to stay in CWCVille, and he attempted to call Asperchu to do a special task for him outside the city, since he couldn't leave. Noirchu asked him what he was doing, but before he could fully explain himself, Noir Chu disappeared. Chris was concerned, but Mayorshack Tito assured him that he was probably just tired from working all day. Getting no response from Asperchu on the phone, he sent Simonchu, who found him at the Burger King in Albville and brought him back. Once Asperchu returned, Chris explained the history of Molvania, and told him that the CPLF had evacuated there after the fall of 4Cent, and that he needed Asperchu to go with Jivin out to Molvania and reestablish contact with them, because he had heard nothing from them since the move. He then introduced them to their method of transportation; a rejected Son-Chu prototype called Crackder, who could turn into a jet plane. After some minor resistance, Asperchu agreed to go on the mission, and he and Jivin flew away to meet with Princess Julie. A short while later, Max uncovered a dead Plautistic in the ruins of 4Cent, and Christian wondered what it was doing there. Max speculated that it may have belonged to Giovanni. While Christian tried to get the Yawning Squirtle to get back to work, he noticed that Crackder had returned, and he wondered aloud what Asperchu and Jivin were doing back already. After a short while of continuing the work, Max received a call, and told Christian that Asperchu and Jivin were back, and that they brought along Clyde, Jack, and the Princess too. Overjoyed, Christian prepared his transport and told Mayorshack Tito where he was going, and the two of them headed off to the Brass Dragon. Once there, he greeted his old friend Jack and shook his hand, and Jack asked him what had happened with the Mayor and Sonichu. Christian told him that the Mayor was defeated, but was confused at the question about Sonichu. Jack then said that they had a lot to talk about, and he explained Sonichu's involvement with the 4Cent Garbage attacks, much to Christian's disbelief and horror. The talk was cut short, however, as Michael Snyder found his store being robbed by Asperchu. Later, Chris, Clyde and Jack bade farewell to Michael and left the Brass Dragon. Chris wondered what to do about Sonichu, and Jack suggested they talk about it over dinner, since Clyde was hungry. Clyde then spotted Wes Iseli, however, and they went to help him up. Chris asked what he was doing there and where he had been, but Wes said he did not remember. Jack told him that he left the HQ with a purple Sonichu who looked like Magi-Chan, and Chris was then confronted by Metal Asperchu, who 'Archives' him too. Suspecting that there was a connection between all the mysterious circumstances, they went to the Pickles Family Cucumber Farm to talk to Princess Julie. She told them that she didn't know anything, but also suspected a connection. Max, who was also there, told them that he and Asperchu had a similar experience with Metal earlier that day, so Julie called Asperchu to come over. Asperchu was unhelpful, though, and failed to provide answers.

As this happened, though, Chris received a call from Simonchu, who told him that CWCVille was under attack from Metal. Christian then went to confront him, and told Metal that he was to stop immediately. This left Metal confused and he told Chris that it was illogical to impede his directives, since he was one of 'the chosen'. Not wishing to harm Christian, he decided to distract him, and he blasted off Aspercream's leg. This provoked Noirchu to react as well, and he was also shot. Deciding that enough was enough, Max, Jivin, Clyde Cash, Jack Thaddeus, Princess Julie and Simonchu leapt into action, but found themselves to be no match for their metallic foe. Christian also stepped up with his knife, but both he and Wes Iseli were also subdued and held by Metal Asperchu, whilst he explained that he was there to fulfill the 'Anchuent Prophecy', which he was designed to fulfill. Christian, apparently knowing what he was talking about, told Metal Asperchu that he was a bastardization of the prophecy, and that he only caused pain and misery. Metal Asperchu commented that it was lucky that he stopped collecting the Chaos Pickles, since it would have made the prophecy impossible to fulfill. He also told them that the seventh 'prophesied person' was underneath 4Cent. Before Metal Asperchu could explain everything, however, Grandpa Alzheichu leapt into the air and stabbed Metal Asperchu through his back with Christian's knife. Metal went haywire for a moment, and then exploded in a big ball of fire. Christian and Wes Li fell to the ground unharmed, and the Chaos Pickles swirled around in the air for a moment, before flying away in all directions and scattering across the land. Christian and Mayorshack Tito had a moment to remember Alzheichu, whilst Asperchu began to worry about paying his Gamestop credit card.

He showed up again in Issue, in which he generously paid $8500 to bail Asperchu out of jail after he tried to murder three people. Despite him trying to tell Asperchu to think about what he had done, Asperchu just went back to his video games, only to later demand that Chris apologize. After promptly getting rid of Asperchu, Chris then continued holding his meeting at the CWC Dubai Tower, and the group decided to dig underneath 4Cent Garbage Towers for the next Chaos Pickle. Whilst doing so, they came across Saramah Chu, alive and well. Chris explained that the Chaos Pickles came from another world, and that to keep themselves stable on this plain, they had tied themselves to seven avatars of their powers. For some reason, five of them separated from their avatars, and were collected by Metal Asperchu. After Metal was destroyed however, they reunited with their avatars. Since Sarah was dead and the Pickles needed a living avatar, they revived and regenerated her.

Chris then took them back to the tower to better explain it. He revealed that Wes Iseli, Sarah Hammer and himself were three of the avatars of the dissonant Pickles, and that Asperchu and Ian Brandon Anderson were holders of the two resonant Pickles. Since Ian had been killed, and the Chaos Pickles obviously needed a living host, Christian decided to ask Ian's killers, Sonichu and Bionic, what had happened to his body. To help make Sonichu more susceptible to them, he brought along Princess Julie and Rosechu.

Once they confronted him however, Sonichu denied Chris as his father, seemingly forgot about Rosechu, and had them all imprisoned. Chris and Princess Julie were given a separate cell from Rosechu for some reason.

In Issue, Bionic took Chris out of his cell and told him that he was going to be briefly allowed out to serve as a witness in Asperchu's upcoming trial at CWCVille High Court, where Bionic was serving as a judge as a favor to the governor. Chris was then sent back to his cell to wait. While he was waiting there, Julie received a message from her father, Emperor Jimmy Hill, through her specially modified Nintendo Game Boy. Reassured, Chris became relaxed, and went to speak at the trial. Once he arrived, he was called up by defense lawyer Yawning Squirtle to speak for Asperchu. Unfortunately, Chris could say no good about him, and remained silent. At the end of the trial, just before sentencing, a squad of Punislavs stormed the courtroom, followed by the Emperor himself, who demanded Julie's release. Wanting to avoid an international incident, Bionic released her, but refused to let Chris leave as well, stating that he and Sonichu still had unfinished business with him. Julie reacted violently and attacked the Yellow Devil, but Chris told her to leave with her father, and that he would be alright. After the court session concluded, Chris and Bionic had a talk about the welfare of Sonichu, with Chris chastising him for not being more involved with his brother's life. Sonichu then returned, and the group headed back to Forte Grosse. Once they arrived, however, they then were greeted by Argentum, who threw Sonichu out the window of the fortress and took Chris, Bionic and Sinestro along with him for another trip through space and time.

In Issue, Christian found himself in a strange alternate reality; the Bizzaro CWCVille. Here, he talked quietly to himself and thought back to the last time Argentum had interfered, and of the disasters that resulted. Refusing to just play along, he resolved to find out the answers to what was going on, but was then knocked over by Bizzaro Sonichu. Bizzaro Sonichu then took him running for a short while around the loops in the area, which Chris realized was similar to pre-war CWCVille, but different in several minor ways. When they stopped, Chris then asked Sonichu where Sinestro and Bionic were, but got no answer. They were then ambushed by an evil Robotnik and Ian mashup named CWC-Botnik, who was soon knocked out and killed by Sonichu. Sonichu then mentioned that he killed CWC-Botnik every month when he invaded CWCVille. He also bought up Bionic, who he said was just a loser. When they arrived in the main city, now a futuristic utopia, Chris then realized that their world was a fake, and tried to talk to Sonichu. When he talked about how much Bionic loved him, Bionic then suddenly appeared as Bizzaro Bionic, and hummed to himself in a corner. Suspicious, Chris asked him to show him Benny Chu, who Sonichu did not know, thus confirming Christian's theory. Chris then punched the Bizzaro Sonichu and collapsed the walls of their reality, thus falling into Bionic's one. There, he tried to explain to Bionic, but he refused to listen and tried to send him away. As he then began argueing with a different version of Bizzaro Sonichu, Chris snapped his neck and collapsed the walls again, allowing them entry into Sinestro's portion of the world and reverting Bionic back to his old self. He was greeted by the sight of Sinestro destroying Bizzaro Mary and Bizzaro Naitsirhc, who he explained had tried to tempt him with the Pink and Purple Chaos Pickles. Chris commented that those were the only two Pickles whose Avatars he had not identified yet, whilst Sinestro began screaming to the Heavens that Argentum was not all-powerful, and that only he knew who those Pickles' Avatars were. Argentum then began to construct their forms too, as Chris shouted at Sinestro, saying that he knew now. The shifting shapes eventually came together and formed models of Megan Schroeder and Lovely Weather; the final two Avatars. The group were then released from the Bizzaro world and landed back in the lab, where Argentum promptly left them so that he could round up the rest of the Avatars and fulfill the Anchuent Prophecy. Not wanting the Prophecy to come to fruition, Chris pulled out his cell phone and began calling a friend of his to come help out, saying that they needed to assemble.

Powers and Abilities
Christian is the well known inventor of the Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack. It is able to act as you'd expect a curse to do, causing bad luck and extreme misfortune, as well as a few other, more subtle effects. However, Christian uses it sparingly, as he is a gentle soul at heart, and not usually one for cursing people to such horrible fates as has been seen in the past. One particular incident was the first time he got the Curse to work and he used it on a mall cop whom he mistakenly thought was attacking him. The curse caused him to lose his house, family and children. Christian felt incredibly guilty over the incident, and despite retracting the curse with a forgiveness blessing and trying to help the man to set his life right again, he could still never forgive himself for it. He has since decided to keep his cursing to the absolute minimum, though he has occasionally made exceptions for Ian, and similarly deserving people such as Count Plot Cohesuon. The attack is not only his, however, as it has been copied (in various ways) by both Ian Brandon Anderson and Asperchu himself.

Friends and Family
Christian is the adoptive father of Sonichu and so sees the entire Chu race as one big family, though he only calls Sonichu his 'son'. He raised Sonichu from an early age, however he is not his biological father. That would be Asperchu and Ian who both helped to create the Special Fanta Brew in 1999 that allowed Ian to give birth to Sonichu via his urethra. Chris is still considered his true father however. Sonichu has recently ran off after he went insane and killed several people.

As well as this, Christian has two siblings; his younger sister Crystal Weston Chandler and his long lost and now found twin brother, Naitsirhc Giovanni. He and Crystal didn't get along much, and they haven't spoken for years. They only grew further apart when she died, and even more so when she was resurrected. On the other hand, Christian and his brother were very close for several years. Upon his discovery of his relation to Reldnahc, the two tried to start again after some conflict to begin with, and Christian and Naitsirhc remained in contact. After Christian was overthrown by Ian, Naitsirhc came to his aid as well, and he joined the CWCVille People's Liberation Front, which Christian also joined after he returned from exile. Tragically, his brother was killed by Ian during his plane attack on 4-Cent_Garbage Towers. At least as far as Christian knows.

By his relation to Naitsirhc, Giovanni is also Christian's half father. Also dead.

Christian also supposedly had a dog named Patti-Chan who died a while back. He was very close to her. However, during Ian's takeover of CWCVille, the impostor monstrously had her dug up and forcibly resurrected as a zombie by Lord Nave of ECGville.

Coincidentally, both his zombie dog and zombie sister later had a sexual relationship together when they met on the moon while looking for people to harvest souls from.

All in all, Christian doesn't have much good luck with his family life.